Raising Our Little Girl Together…
When you are young and just starting out in a relationship- one of those all consuming, passionate relationships- the last thing you think about is children. You don’t even think about marriage, or whether it will be long term- the only thing you think about is where you are going to go on your next date, whether you have morning breath or how drunk you got the night before.
And then before you know it, that new relationship starts to get more serious, you officially become an item and you slowly start to talk about the future. But still not children- perhaps you might book a holiday for a few months time or slightly cover the fact you ‘could’ move in together one day.
I loved Mr E before we even became an item, albeit as a friend. I knew him inside out, knew he would protect me, knew he wanted a family and knew about his childhood. But I still didn’t really know what kind of Dad he would be, or whether he would have similar values to me. However at that stage that was the furthest thing from my mind. I was in my early twenties and children weren’t part of my immediate future.
I still remember the first time I thought of the idea of children properly. We weren’t even engaged at the time and we were on holiday in Portugal. The villa we were staying in was made up of a private complex of just three other properties and there was a family there with small children. The little boy took a shine to Mr E and kept trying to play with him- he entertained him for ages, throwing him off his lilo. I at this stage was more concerned with reading my book and getting a tan when the boys Mum said to me ‘He will make an amazing father one day.’ I looked up from my book and studied my boyfriend for a second. The thought made me get goosebumps.
Fast forward through an engagement, a wedding and a pregnancy and our little Mads was born. When you are pregnant you spend ages discussing the colour of the nursery walls, what travel system you are going to get and you get into heated discussions about baby names. You don’t sit and discuss your views of parenthood, how you are going to discipline and the nitty gritty aspects of raising your children. After all how do you know what kind of parent you are going to be until you actually bring your baby home?
From the moment I was in the hospital and Mads was placed into Mr E’s arms, I knew that he would be the best Daddy he could possibly be. His own ‘father’ left when he was two and looking at him cuddling our new baby daughter I knew that he would never do the same to us.
But as Mads has grown and got bigger and more interactive, he is just incredible. He does so much for us, he cooks, he plays with Mads for hours, he puts her to bed, he gets her ready in the mornings (although he puts her in the funniest outfits- he certainly doesn’t have much fashion sense when it comes to little girls!) and she absolutely adores her Daddy. She definitely has more of a bond with him than me, but I don’t ever mind, I love the fact that she is a Daddy’s girl. To me, my two favourite people in the world loving each other more than anything, is just wonderful to see.
I love the fact I have given Mr E a daughter and I love seeing the look in his eyes when he sees his little girl. I love hearing them upstairs splashing in the bath and singing, I love hearing them giggle together, and I love watching her play with her Daddy’s ear and cuddle him when she is tired. Her face lights up and she shouts hello when he comes in from work- he always gives her a kiss before me!
We have the same outlook on parenting and we agree about most things, even the silly ones. We want to be approachable, cool parents, but also want respect from Mads and won’t stand for any nonsense. We want to work hard and make enough money to treat her and to make lots of memories with day trips and holidays, but we don’t want to work so hard that we miss out on things. We both share the same work ethic, I didn’t go to university to let him pay the bills, although we agree that until she is at school I will work two and a half days as then we all get the best of both worlds- Mads gets her Mummy the majority of the time and the rest of the time she gets spoiled rotten by friends.
Even the little things we agree on- I found out the other day that we both we don’t want her to get her ears pierced until she is thirteen! Every day I find out little things that make us realise how similar we want our parenting styles to be.
When I fell in love with Mr E, I fell in love with him for him and how he treated me. I had no idea what kind of Dad he would be. But luckily for us he is a pretty good one.
I love that we are raising our little girl (and hopefully soon baby number two) together. We share everything- the responsibilities, the Mummy and Daddy duties, our money, and above all the memories. Being parents can be stressful, but it has strengthened our relationship and made us even more in tune than we were before.
I am glad that boy I used to spend many a drunken night with, is the perfect Daddy to our little girl.
There is no one else I would rather raise my babies with.