Life • September 24, 2015

I’ve Lost My Blogging Inspiration and Other Life Updates.

The last few weeks I have seriously been lacking in blog content inspiration. I open the laptop to write a post, pick up the camera to take some photos, or film a video and to be perfectly honest I just stop. I don’t know what it is but I just don’t really have anything that I want to say. Or anything that seems important enough anyway. This has happened to me before in my nearly five years of blogging, so I know it’s just a temporary glitch. But life and other things just seem to have taken over so I thought I would write a post about nothing in particular- a little life update if you will.

The biggest thing around here is the fact that Mads has started school properly now. She did two weeks of half days but from this week is now doing full time. It’s gone a lot more smoothly than I hoped. She got very upset on her settling in days so I was worried that it was going to be a disaster, but bar one day randomly last week where she got upset about going in, she has actually been amazing. She’s flourishing at school and I can’t wait to hear all about what she gets up to, or the limited things she chooses to tell us anyway. As I am writing this she has just got home after Mr E picked her up, and LL is still asleep having her nap. So we are snuggling on my bed having what we call ‘quiet time’- she is watching the iPad and I am writing this, and we are cuddling and sharing a cupcake she made, today’s news is that she is excited about the fact that she is going to be doing some cooking every Wednesday. I am too actually, her excitement is definitely catching. 

It was a little daunting for both of us going to a small school (less than a 100) where we didn’t know a soul. But everyone has been really welcoming and I am so glad I fought for her to have a place there. It’s a beautiful little community school, with only 17 in her class and I often get tears in my eyes as I drop her off. It’s exactly what I wanted for her. The other day I was stood in the playground when her ‘buddy’ (an older girl) came to see her. She and her three friends took Mads off and cuddled her and held her hand while walking round the playground- it was really sweet to watch and I know bigger schools have their perks, but I am over the moon with where she is. It almost feels like the intimacy of a private school, without the hefty fees!

I am struggling to get used to the routine of the school run if I am perfectly honest. They both went to nursery on a Tuesday and Thursday for years, but school seems so much more routine led. I am mourning the loss of our carefree life a little, the fact that we have to be governed by term time dates and can no longer sneak off for a long weekend away or take a day off mid week to have a day of family fun. That was the beauty of Mr E and I working from home, that we were lucky enough to be able to do things like that, and now it all seems very structured and I am missing it a little. On one hand I thrive on routine but at the same time it also makes me a little stifled. I know we will get used to it, but I would just prefer my little girl was at home with me. I don’t cry into her stuffed toy and miss her constantly, I know how good it is for her, but I just wish that it didn’t have to be every day!

On the plus side I am absolutely loving spending time with LL. She is at the most delicious age, she is so easy going and smiles all day long. She chatters away non stop now and I just love our one on one time together, something which we have rarely had before. I just want to scoop her in my arms and cuddle her non stop as she really is so amazing, but unfortunately she is quite an independent little thing- she’s happy to be off playing and doesn’t want to have to stop for cuddles with me. Everyone who meets her says how smiley she is, we have started back doing ballet with her except now I sit and watch rather than participate, and it’s my favourite part of the week- she giggles, smiles and dances non stop throughout the lesson. I still can’t get over how easy it is with just one, of course I didn’t think it at the time when it was just Mads, but it’s all relative I guess, and one just seems so easy to me now. LL will happily sit on my lap the whole time we are having coffee with friends, just snuggling or eating a snack, and I just want to store up these moments and save them in my memory forever- she really is at the most wonderful age.

Mr E has been working from home for six months now and it has gone so quickly. I adore having him at home, a part of me was nervous that we would spend too much time together but it hasn’t been that way at all, if anything our relationship is even better. I was worried about him having to search for clients after his long term contract finished (the thing that enabled him to set up by himself in the first place) but we have been really lucky that they have extended it until after Christmas which takes the pressure off a little. I don’t think it’s going to be extended past then as there isn’t much work left, but we are really pleased that he has been given an extra few months as it’s good money and a bit of security. I will be nervous when the time comes that he is going to be looking for work each month but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. It’s great that he can play such a part in helping with the girls, he’s there for them all the time, and we will share the pick up or drop off at school each day- I feel so lucky to have him at home with us. Family life isn’t perfect by any means, but I feel very thankful for our situation at the moment, even if we both have to go back to work eventually, at least we have enjoyed this period while our babies are little.

My work is going ok, I have finally found a bit more of that illusive work/life balance at long last. Most evenings at the moment (hello lost blog mojo!) I end up putting the laptop away and just snuggling with Mr E, or watching box sets, it’s nice to reconnect and not spend so much time with my face staring at a computer screen. We got absolutely hooked on this ten part American crime/drama series ‘Secrets and Lies’ which I definitely recommend if you are looking for something to watch. I ended up stopping a couple of my social media clients as I found my blog work was taking up more of my time and I am pleased I did as it means that I can concentrate on the things that I really love now. (my blog!) I still have a few amazing social media clients who I will never part ways with unless they no longer want me, but this way works for us well at the moment. I am also really enjoying vlogging monthly for Channel Mum, it’s such a great team of really lovely people and I am really proud to be part of it. It still feels weird talking to the camera after hiding behind it for so long, but I am enjoying being pushed out of my comfort zone.

Life is really funny at the moment, it seems to be dragging and yet whizzing by at the same time, as we all adjust to having to be very led by the routine of school. I am feeling excited about the proper arrival of autumn, yet also mourning the very quick (and wet) summer we had too. We have some really exciting brand collaborations and other news coming up though, so I can’t wait for those to happen. Other than that I am just hoping I get my blogging mojo back soon- it feels very weird for me not to want to pick up my camera and snap away at every opportunity. We have to take our Me and Mine photos for this month at some point this week as we are busy over the weekend, and I literally couldn’t feel any less like trying to get us all motivated to take some photos. Blogging inspiration come back soon- I miss you!

IMG_6429Sisters reunited after school.

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