Life • October 31, 2011

A Scary Day…

The 31st October. Halloween. Notoriously a scary day. And certainly this year it has been scarier than some past Halloweens, not because of the ghost stories or the Trick or Treaters coming to the door. Today I went back to work after maternity leave. Now that is scary.

I have been dreading going back for ages. Although I don’t particularly mind my job, I was so nervous about leaving Mads and our little bubble of maternity leave bliss ending. I am only going back two days a week but still those two days seemed like far too long to be away from my baby.

The alarm woke me up at 6.30am today and I charged around getting ready, even though I had most of Mads bits ready the night before. I got out the house on time and even had time to give my baby a little cuddle and feed before I went. I was proud of myself that the only time I got teary was as I was leaving, as bless her she was waving me off! I then got in a little bit of a stress as the dreaded motorway was at a standstill and I was so worried I was going to be late for my first day.

Eventually I got there and as I walked in I was literally shaking, I think it was just an accumulation of nerves after not being there for a year and also because of leaving Mads. However once I saw a few friendly faces I soon relaxed and calmed down.

And the day went….ok. In fact I almost, ever so slightly enjoyed it. But sssshhh don’t tell anyone. It was strange to be back as there were a lot of new faces I didn’t know but at the same time it felt like I had never been away as everyone was really nice and welcoming. Well most people! The day went quite quickly and it was nice to relax and have some adult company.

Mads is at one of my Mum’s friends Paula on a Monday and with my Mum on a Tuesday and the first day went really well. I have known Paula since I was young, and like to think of her as almost a second Mum to me, she is one of the most caring, kind and wonderful ladies you will ever meet and I trust her completely with the most special and important thing in my life. The fact that she is looking after Mads once a week, without asking for a penny, is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for us and we can’t thank her enough. As the day went on, and the inital nerves of leaving her went away, I did relax and know that she was safe, and I really started to feel ok. In fact, I didn’t pine for her like I thought I would but of course I missed her terribly.

By the time 4.30pm rolled around I felt like the first day had gone well but I couldn’t wait to jump in the car and get home to my little girl- I don’t think I have ever been so excited as I came down my road. And as I came through the door and shouted her name, I was greeted by the most excited, smiley little girl who came and had a big cuddle. That was worth being away for.

All in all I think it is going to be ok. If I didn’t have to work I probably wouldn’t and if I can make a success of mine and Mr E’s business and do that instead I would love to do that but it is going to be a while before I can give up the security of a stable income. So I have to work and I am going to make the best of it. It’s two days and come tomorrow afternoon my weekend will have started again- I can’t complain at that really!

It makes it all worth it when you come home to this…

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Here is an obligatory ‘scary’ shot.  After all lets not forget its Halloween!  I am not sure how frightening my little girl is as a witch though!

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