Family • December 14, 2013

{The Ordinary Moments} #18- In Memory Of Kerry.

Ordinary life can be a little mundane- a blur of meal times, cleaning up, countless loads of washing, and day to day jobs.  But between the mundanity, there are those special moments that we have with our children.  Not necessarily the days out, or the exciting times, but the ordinary ones.  The cuddles on the sofa, the giggling and dancing around the room to Mister Maker, the big beaming smiles as they splash in the bath.  That’s exactly why I started this little project- to record those moments that I can guarantee I will want to remember when they are all grown up.

We all have our little routines or structures that define our day to day life.  Being a stay at home Mum, or a Mum on maternity leave, can be tedious.  Constant tidying, clearing away toys, or being a human climbing frame.  Never getting a moment to yourself.  But inbetween these moments, are those little snippets that make ordinary life so special.  That make being a Mummy the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done.

A year ago today three children lost their Mummy.  Kerry from Multiple Mummy was one of my first blogging friends, and she was an inspiration.  Always smiling, always happy and always thinking of others.  Having been fortunate enough to meet Kerry a fair few times, she was one of those people who just made you feel comfortable.  In June 2012 I went to Brit Mums Live, a blogging conference, and just days before we had found out a secret- that I was about 5 weeks pregnant with LL.  Kerry bizarrely figured it out, she often said she had a sixth sense, and I told her that I was pregnant before I told some of my closest family.  I would have loved for her to have met LL.

Kerry passing away changed me.  It sounds dramatic but it did.  I was heavily pregnant with LL at the time, and I just couldn’t fathom that three young children could lose their Mum just before Christmas. As with any sad thing you hear about, it all seemed so incredibly cruel.  And then just a few weeks later to hear of the absolutely tragic death of Matilda Mae.  I have never written about either on my blog before, feeling like it was not my place to write about another family’s devastation.

But they have changed me as a parent more than I ever thought it would.

Time is so sacred and so so special.  I have always been a soppy, wear my heart on my sleeve type of person, and I have always been a very anxious person, worrying about the what if’s, but hearing of Kerry’s death impacted me as a Mummy.  I constantly tell Mr E how lucky we are for our simple life, and I treasure these times with my girls just that little bit more.  I used to worry about silly things a lot more- money stresses, and just day to day life stresses but I try not too as much anymore.  It is a privilege to be able to watch my girls grow up.  I hope that I will always be able to do that.  Life isn’t perfect, and I am not a perfect mother but I am here.  I tell my children I love them at least a ten times a day, and I kiss them even more.  Of course, we have days where our children drive us mad, where we can’t wait for them to be in bed, where we lose our patience, or where we don’t give them our full attention as much as we should have done.  But we are lucky.

I am lucky.

Lucky that I get to watch these beautiful girls grow up.  To change an ever ending supply of dirty nappies, to have my hair pulled all day long, and to never get a second to myself.  To experience these milestones, these kisses, and the way my heart beats just that little bit faster when my children snuggle up in my arms.

 To witness these ordinary moments.

I am so incredibly thankful for that.

ormo18

Grainy iPhone after nap snuggles.

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