Family • September 7, 2014

{The Ordinary Moments 14} #33 ‘A New Ordinary Friday’

I have spoken many times before about how I am a creature of habit and how we have our little ‘during the week’ routine down to a tee.  Most afternoons are taken up with nap times, so it’s only really mornings we need to fill.  On a Monday we see my Mum, Tuesday and Thursday morning the girls go to nursery while I work, Wednesday we go to see one of my closest friends and her children and then for the last couple of years Friday’s have been taken up with seeing the friends I made via my NCT class way back when I was pregnant with Mads.

For a long time I had guilt about putting my girls into nursery.  When it was just Mads, she went to our wonderful family friends while I worked three days a week but I was in a really fortunate position after having LL that I was able to hand my notice in and work freelance.  However because I work from home sometimes I felt guilty about the fact they were at nursery, but at same time I couldn’t work while they were in the house.  Nowadays, I feel we have the balance just right for us, they have time to learn and grow without me, I get some time to myself, and I also work in the evenings when they are asleep.  I don’t feel guilty anymore for enjoying the time I get away from them, as I think it makes me a better Mummy when we are together.

However as of last Friday our routine changed again.  For a while now we have been considering putting Mads into nursery an extra session, partly because we feel that it will help her be more ready for school next year (the jump from two long mornings to five full days seeming quite a lot) and partly because we felt LL would thrive on having some one on one time with Mummy.  While I know every child is different, Mads was talking non stop at LL’s age whereas LL still hardly says a word, and we just felt that it would be nice to dedicate some time just to her as it is something she has never had.

Mads first extra session has coincided with her moving up into the big ‘pre school room’ so the change has made her a little unsettled, while she is all smiles when I pick her up, when I drop her off she is a little clingy as she misses her keyworker in her old room.  This of course has set off the guilt all over again- I feel guilty that technically she doesn’t have to be there, that she is not there because I am working, but because I am enjoying time with LL.   When I dropped her off last Friday I genuinely felt a little strange and emotional.  A lot of it is because I am aware just how quickly she is growing up, how this time next year it will be me posting proud photos of her in her school uniform and waving her off on her first day.  I feel like we are almost on ‘borrowed time’ before school gets her and our life changes dramatically, and this week I have felt a real sense of treasuring these moments even more than usual.  Coupled with the fact that she was a little bit teary about going, meant that I felt really bad as I drove off and I wondered whether to turn round to go and get her and take her with us out to lunch to meet our friends.

But then I went home and snuggled on the sofa with my little LL.  It was almost like I saw her in a different light.  We spent an hour or so at home where we played with almost every single toy in the toy box, her never leaving my side and glueing her little bottom to my lap.  She giggled and smiled non stop and was visibly so excited to have my one on one attention.  We then went out to lunch where my friends commented how happy she was.  And I realised that we both need this time together, I enjoyed every single second of it and I know that she did too.  She made me smile all morning and I loved watching her.  We went to pick Mads up and she was happy and excited, telling me all about her day in the ‘Lions’ room and how was thrilled that she got to do Gymnastics on a Friday from now on because a man comes from outside to teach them.  I know now we have made the right decision to change our Friday routine.

Because looking at this little face and the smile that didn’t leave it all morning, I am looking forward to giving her the one on one attention that she quite rightly deserves.  And I am looking forward to the cuddles when I pick Mads up even more…

happyLLSept14


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