We are now entering our fifth week of lockdown in the UK. Five weeks ago we would have very rarely used words such as ‘lockdown’, ‘social distancing’ and ‘COVID19’, yet now they are words we use and hear on a daily basis. What is going on in the world is surreal, terrifying, life changing and utterly impossible to comprehend, in fact I don’t think I have even begun to process it.
I, like every single person in the UK, am being affected by this. Not as much as others by any stretch, but our lives have still changed dramatically, and by all accounts they will be for some time. I miss family members so very much, my Grandparents who are half an hour away but it may as well be a million miles, my Nana and Grandpa who went into a nursing home two weeks before this all started and who now we can’t even begin to imagine seeing anytime soon. I worry about people in my family with underlying health issues, I worry about the financial impact of this in months to come… the list goes on. But I know how lucky we are compared to some. So very lucky. To have a home of our own to stay in, a garden for the children to play in during the sunny weather, and to not to have to fear either Jon or I going out to work and potentially bringing any bugs back.
I don’t know if anyone else feels like this, but I almost feel guilty at times. Guilty that I am not doing more. Reading or hearing the stories of staff on the frontline in the NHS and the courage they are showing every single day. Or the supermarket workers worrying each time they go into work that they might catch something. All the key workers and the work they are doing, while all we need to do is stay home. On a day to day basis it almost doesn’t feel real, like we are in this little bubble where unless we read the news or go on social media, we wouldn’t know that anything is wrong. But the truth is we are all going to face the repercussions for many months to come. We aren’t just going to flick a switch and it all go back to normal- we will all feel the effects of this for a very long time. It’s hard to comprehend and even harder to process. I think that’s the hardest thing for me at the moment. I don’t know what I expected, it’s not like deep down I thought they’d end lockdown and that would be it, it would be back to normal, but I just don’t think I really thought about further than what we are doing now. The thought of the aftermath of this, the way we will live our lives, is so uncertain.
During these lockdown days there have been happy moments. Life moves on a slower basis, the weather has been so kind to us (although this week it has changed), and I feel very lucky that I get to spend this extra time with my children. Don’t get me wrong, there’s the uncertainty, the stress, the not so good moments, and the worry. Life is very easy to make look idyllic in a few photos of a beautiful, yellow field, or a quick edited insta snap. Life isn’t always idyllic, no one’s is. My children drive me mad on the daily. There is bickering, grumpiness, even physical fights between them. But there’s also the increased enjoyment of the simple things. Like our daily walks, bike rides, or more time in the evening to just be the instead of rushing out to football or other clubs every night of the week. I am trying more than ever to focus on the positives. And there are many of those.
We took these photos on our daily walk the other day when the afternoon sun was setting. We are being really respectful of lockdown, sticking to our one daily walk or bike ride of around an hour (usually much less), and not going out in the car bar for shopping. Most days we just walk the strip up and down behind our house, it’s really just a dirt track with the main road one side and our estate on the other, but I don’t think I have ever been more appreciative of it. However some days we cajole the kids and go a bit further. We live on the outskirts of a town, but if you walk the other way it takes you to miles and miles of countryside. This particular day we went to the rape fields near our house. We live in the flattest part of the country and as such there are so many of these yellow fields within a few miles. We try and take photos in them most years, it’s always been a little tradition of ours, different ones depending on which ones are better that year.
We are discovering so much beauty on our doorstep and we are grateful more than ever for where we live. For the sense of community amongst our neighbours, for the socially distant chats with dog walkers on the strip behind our house. I’m grateful for taking photos- we stopped for 5 minutes and I snapped a few, the creativity is keeping me sane at the moment during this time. While the actual taking photos part takes a few minutes, I get so much enjoyment editing them on the computer later once the kids are in bed.
I wanted to finish this post by saying I am sending love to you all. Whatever situation you are in, where ever you are in the world, and whatever you are going through.
We are all in this together and if there is one thing that I have learnt from this so far, there is so much kindness and amazing people all around us.
Lots and lots of love. xxx
PS There is a footpath through this field, we weren’t trespassing!